Last week, I was in Winnipeg and Kenora.  My medical appointments required the Winnipeg trip, and my overwhelming need to spend time with my friend, A., required the Kenora leg of the journey.  The trip was amazing.  A. ensured that it was all about joy.  I haven’t laughed so hard or so much in an extraordinarily long time.  I had the perfect balance of getting A all to myself in Winnipeg and enjoying her absolutely wonderful family in Kenora.  Every single minute was a healing miracle for me.

The medical “stuff” is still a bit muddled.  Dr. P, my absolutely brilliant rheumatologist, hadn’t received any lab work from Thunder Bay, so she wanted to wait to make any decisions until after she sees the labs I had done in Winnipeg.  She does not want to put me back on an immunosuppressant because there is a small risk of reactivating the lymphoma.  The only lupus drug that isn’t an immunosuppressant caused eye toxicity for me, and we had to discontinue it last May.  At this point, our options are to do nothing or to treat me with more Rituximab (one of my chemo drugs that also works for lupus).

I told Dr. P. that according to recent lab work, I had hematuria (blood in my urine — an indicator that the kidney disease might be flaring).  She said, “Oh, I didn’t need that!”  Depending on continuing lab work, I may end up needing another kidney biopsy to help us decide about further treatment.  Time will tell.  I will be seeing Dr. B., my nephrologist, again June 22nd.  I will see Dr. P. again in September.  Dr. P. is also going to order follow-up CT scans to check for lymphoma relapse because that will help with lupus treatment decisions.  It’s going to take some time and problem-solving to get things under control.  I am extremely fortunate that Dr. P. and Dr. B. are both brilliant, compassionate and extraordinarily talented.  I have complete faith in them, and that’s a wonderful and precious thing. 🙂

Unfortunately, my trip is now over, and it’s back to reality.  This week has been pretty harsh in the reality department.  First, a dear friend’s husband has found a lump, and is dealing with his own cancer scare.  I am praying for good news.  I know what it’s like to be in that scary place before there is a diagnosis and a plan.  With luck, the lump will be benign, and all the worry will be for nothing.  In the meantime, my heart goes out to them, and I am worrying along with them.

While I worry about them, my heart is breaking for all my friends at Hyde Park School.  The class I’m on leave from experienced a tragic accident while on a field trip on Monday.  One of the four-year-old students died as a result.  I feel utterly powerless.  All I can do is mourn with my friends and let them know I love them.  That feels so feeble in the face of such horror.  It is at times like this that I turn to the power of prayer.  May God be with us all.  Amen.